French Windows

The first time we were invited to someone’s house for an ‘apéro’, as it is often called, we knew that there were certain rules to observe. We asked a Dutch friend, whose husband is French, to help us out. What time should we arrive? Should we take anything and when should we leave? She didn’t know either, so she promised to check with her husband. There are three possibilities with this type of invitation. Firstly, the apéritifs of alcohol and nibbles will precede a meal to which you are also invited. Another possibility is the classic ‘apéro’ invitation. Once, we were invited to pre-dinner drinks to meet the dinner guests. When our host’s husband went into the kitchen and started cooking, we knew this was the signal for us to leave. Our hosts and their friends ate together as soon as we had gone. The third permutation is often called ‘apéritif dinatoire’.Drinks are served with nibbles that are more substantial than peanuts and crisps. There might be tiny individually wrapped cheese cubes, cherry tomatoes, mini pizzas, miniature slices of pork pie or stuffed fresh chicory leaves. Your host might have made a variety of ‘verrines’, which are served in tiny glasses and could have several colourful layers. For example, these could be finely diced fish under a vegetable purée topped with a creamy cheese layer. One of the dishes of a modern apéro-dinatoire’ is a ‘cake apéritif’ –  a savoury version of a tea-loaf which could contain asparagus, sun-dried tomatoes, olives, chorizo sausage or ham. Pitfalls abound. Once, we were invited for an ‘apéro’ and had eaten a light meal before we went, thinking we would leave before eating. However, when we arrived, we found the table had been laid and a three course meal awaited us!

Cottage industries, traditional crafts and old skills are celebrated in France. Stained glass window makers, wrought-metal workers, carpenters and stonemasons are trained in special schools.Traditional sentiments are brought forth when butter is labelled, ‘au beurre de baratte’ = made by churning. Ham might be cooked ‘au torchon’ = in a tea-towel. When I wanted to know more, I looked on You Tube and found that the meat was salted, wrapped twice in material like a thin rubber glove (well actually, it was like a huge condom), then shrink wrapped in plastic before being cooked on a very low heat. The original idea of ham being wrapped in a tea-towel was not very appealing, but the reality of replacing that with several layers of plastic was even less so! Sometimes, I would prefer a less ‘hands on’ approach to life. Some Brie cheeses are manually poured into circular moulds using an authentic Pelle à Brie = “Brie shovel“. Does it make any difference to the flavour? When I read on the packet that my salmon slices were ‘salé au mains’ i.e. salted by hand, I would prefer that a machine did it, rather than a trainee who had not washed his hands to surgical standards! Why is it impossible for a French artisan to make a cheese without putting his/her bare hands and arms, usually up to the elbows, into the curds and whey?

ACRONYMS. Nearly every well-known and frequently used organisation in France seems to have chosen its name, so that it can be called by an acronym. Every French person is familiar with what the body does, but has no clue what the letters stand for. Social charges must be paid to URSSAF Unions de Recouvrement des Cotisations de Sécurité Sociale et d’Allocations Familiales.Not only is the name shortened, but in many cases the initials become a word in themselves. The RAC in the UK is never called the ‘Rac’. In Reims, we have CREPS ‘Creps’, which I assumed was something to do with pancakes, until I had a student who studied there and I found it stood forCentres de Ressources, d’Expertise et de Performance Sportives – a sports college! The minimum wage is always called the SMIC ‘Smick’ = salaire minimum interprofessionnel de croissance and the emergency ambulance service is the SAMU ‘Samu’=secours d’aide médicale d’urgence. When dealing with anything official this becomes an almost indecipherable language.At the door of our Social Security office are 4 letter boxes marked with the initials of various departments in the building. I never know into which one I must post my letter. Is it CRAM, CMPS, CAMIEG or CARSAT?