I got three-quarters of the way through this compilation before I realised that I had omitted this enormous difference between the French and the English. English people wear a scarf if it is winter or cold or because they have a neck muscle pain. French men and women wear scarves because they are not dressed without one. Everyone wears one! OK, I am exaggerating. Children wear them to go from the house to the car in the morning. A nurse who took my blood at a clinic was wearing a huge scarf over her white coat – doesn’t that contravene hygiene regulations? Perhaps it doesn’t in France! I watched a programme on French nationals who had volunteered to fight in Syria against ISIS. They didn’t need a badge that said ‘I am French’ – the fact that they were wearing a scarf with their camouflage uniforms gave them away immediately. I now have a draw full of scarves in every colour and texture to go with all my outfits. To fit in in France and look the part, I recommend buying a scarf and studying the many ways it can be tied, draped, knotted and twisted in typical French fashion.

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