Don’t worry that you will miss your favourite T.V. programmes if you move to France. The rights have been sold over here. We regularly watch David Suchet in Poirot and Inspector Barnaby in Midsomer Murders. Many programmes have a French equivalent, The Great British Bake-off becomes ‘Le meilleur patissier’ with the same challenges and the same format. Britain’s Got Talent becomes ‘La France a un Incroyable Talent’. Countdown becomes ‘Des chiffres et des lettres’. Who Wants to be a Millionaire becomes ‘Qui veut gagner des millions. How Clean Is Your House – ‘C’est du propre!‘ had two very disapproving French ladies finding incredibly messy homes and recommending Worcestershire Sauce to clean brass objects. But the French voice-over guy gives Wor-ces-ter-shire four syllables! Spitting Image became Les Guignols. Flog it and Bargain Hunt type programmes look for valuable antiques, Location, Location, Location, becomes Maison à Vendre. The presenter of which, Stéphane Plaza, appears so regularly on TV programmes in the same genre that he now has his own chain of estate agents. Gardener’s World is Silence ça pousse’ .Supernanny has a French double so has Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmare. Our Gordon Ramsay is replaced by the equally big, butch straight talker but with a hidden heart of gold – Philippe Eschebest. It’s called ‘Cauchemar en Cuisine’. Jamie Oliver’s programmes here star a chef called Cyril Lignac. Cyril’s restaurant in Paris is called Le Quinzième ‘the fifteenth’ and Jamie started restaurants to train new chefs and called them ‘Fifteen’. How weird is that?! Who is copying who?