French life is bound by many unwritten rules. Bread must be torn and not cut or buttered. It must be offered at every meal. Soup is eaten only at supper. Milky coffee is for breakfast. Coffee is served after meals. Roast lamb must be eaten with beans. Cheese should be cut in a manner which preserves its original shape.

Who would think of parking on a roundabout? However, many French roundabouts have shaded areas where you can park! They are the favourite places for police cars to wait while checking that every vehicle that passes has a valid insurance sticker on display. If not, you get pulled over and get to park on the roundabout as well! There is one roundabout in our city where traffic already on it, has to stop to let cars enter from the feeder roads, the same as happens at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. Now there are traffic lights to confirm who has priority. The first time we drove on this anomaly, we nearly had an accident, and a heart attack, when a lady driver shot out in front of us from the road on the right! That is why there are signs at the majority of roundabouts to warn you that you do not have priority. Be careful of those that do not say this! Did you know France has more roundabouts than any other country?

ROTE LEARNING. In the UK rote learning has gone out of fashion, but French children are expected to commit many lessons to heart. I must say that I was impressed that one student had had to learn the names of British Prime Ministers and their chancellors. However, the downside is that things are learnt by heart with no understanding. Our friend’s young daughter was doing her homework which consisted of learning the definitions of geographical features. ‘A plateau is a hill with sloping sides and a flat top’. I asked her if she could draw one. ‘I don’t need to do that; I just have to learn the definition’. I was not convinced that she would recognise a plateau if she saw one.

When did you last have your roof cleaned? The idea of needing to clean one’s roof had never even entered our heads before living in France. At least two of our neighbours have had their rooves cleaned. There was no moss or any particular problem, but the job required a young man to climb 10 meters from the ground, spray on a product to loosen the dirt, clean that off and then coat the roof with something that would protect it. When I asked why they needed it done, it was an ‘Il faut le faire’, moment. It must be done! (See MUST)

In the UK we name our roads after trees, flowers, birds, etc. Occasionally we commemorate Prime Ministers, battle heroes or members of the royal family. In France many roads have the names of famous people, often with their dates of birth and a few lines about their lives. Every town has the obligatory rue Victor Hugo (novelist), boulevard Jean Jaurés (Minister of Education who established free primary schools) and place General De Gaulle (war time leader and President). It is possible to trace the progress of the allies in the second world war, especially in Normandy, by the roads containing dates starting from D-day through to August 25, 1944, when Paris was liberated. Fighting was still taking place after that so, rue 30 Août can be found in a town south of Paris. Writing a few lines about celebrities on lamp posts, seems to me, to be an excellent way for children to learn a bit of history.

RIVERS. When I was writing my guide to the A26 I told my husband that the Marne was the longest river in France. He replied, ‘ No it isn’t.’ I replied, ‘ Yes it is, I have just read it on a French website.’ Thus began the debate. We found out that the French have two words for rivers, ‘rivières’ and ‘fleuves’. Rivers are the tributaries that flow into ‘fleuves’, which flow into the sea. The Marne is the ‘riviere’ that flows into the Seine which is a ‘fleuve’.

When the streets are narrow and congested, restaurants have terraces that take up significant parts of the roadway. You don’t get that in the UK.  Food is not more important than traffic flow. And you pay more for a coffee if you sit amongst the French traffic fumes and noise. Look at diner’s plates. If you see tinned green beans, the rest of the food is likely to be from a frozen food supplier. If there are hundreds of things on the menu, there is no chef preparing it to order. Look for the label ‘fait maison’ if you want home-made food.

Brazil is not responsible for the destruction of the Amazonian rainforest. A country that requires triplicate copies of every piece of documentation must shoulder part of the blame. I took out a small insurance policy to cover me against any accidents my students might have in my home. It was 34 pages long! The insurance office also keeps a copy and a copy goes to their headquarters. Over 100 pieces of paper that no one will ever read! When I ordered a compost bin from the local council, the very helpful man installed it in my garden, then waited to be invited into the house. I wondered, ‘Why?’ He produced some documents for me to sign – in triplicate. One for me, one for the Town Hall, and one for the suppliers of the bins. Friends have an estate agent’s. I used to go there to teach their son. Behind the public office were stacks and stacks of boxes reaching up to the ceiling and overflowing down the stairs. They explained that they have to keep every document for ever. It was a fire hazard caused by French bureaucracy. The French call this overabundance of paperwork ‘paperasse’.

QUEUING. A queue is ‘une file d’attente’ but don’t expect to see one at a French bus stop where it is every man (or woman) for themselves! However, I was very surprised while queuing in a supermarket, that someone with a trolley load of goods turned and said, ‘N’avez vous que cette course? Allez-y’. = ‘Have you only got that amount of shopping? Go ahead.’ This happens quite regularly, so be sure to hold your two or three items so that the person in front of you can see them clearly. The most chaotic experience we had was when we went to our daughter’s school to see the teachers on parents evening. Outside the doors of 3 classrooms were a crowd of parents waiting to see one of the three teachers. There was no system, no orderly queue, we had to keep our eye on the new arrivals and try to work out who had come before us and who had arrived after us. We had never been to a school open evening that was so disorganised!

To have a degree in France is just the start of having qualifications. To get a good job students go on to take a masters which they feel is the minimum they must have. In the UK experience counts for more than certificates. Many French young people go to the British Isles to get their first job because it is far easier to be taken on if you are keen and willing in the UK.