French people cannot say to each other ‘I love you’. The word ‘love’ does not exist as a verb in French!  ‘You are crazy’ I can hear you thinking, France and love go hand in pocket! However, it is true! ‘Je t’aime’ only means ‘I like you’. J’aime chocolat, les vins rosés, le jardinage, camembert etc’. I like all of those things. If a French person wants to say that they love you, the only way is to say, ‘Je t’aime très fort!’

I have been surprised to find how popular this children’s story is with adults in France. Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry was voted the best book of the 20^th century by French people. Quotations such as, ‘One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eyes.’- ‘On ne voit guère qu’avec le cœur: l’essentiel estinvisible pour les yeux’, are taken my some as life principles.

When we lived in the UK, it was a pleasure to hear the letters dropping onto the front door mat in the morning. Unless you live in a town house whose door opens onto the street, you will not have the excitement of hearing that noise in France. Blocks of flats have everyone’s letterboxes in the entrance hall. French letter boxes are usually placed at the edge of the property. A day in your pyjamas is not possible if you want to check your mail. The postman possesses a key to everyone’s boxes so parcels can be left in it. He only comes to the door if a letter needs signing for. Comparing the distance walked between French postal workers and British posties, the Brits walk further. Previous postmen used to ride a motor scooter along the pavement. Now, he/she arrives in an electric vehicle. So, I think the British postal worker deserves the Christmas Box! (See CALENDARS)

My husband hates to be late. I can’t understand why being late is part of French life. It was a shock for our daughter to find out that if you are late for school and the class has started, you could be locked out of the classroom. Schools are very firm on punctuality. So, when and why does the habit disappear later in life? In the town where we live there is the expression ‘the Reims 15 minutes’ – meaning that everyone arrives 15 minutes after the stated time. Apparently, arriving on time for social occasions in France is a cardinal sin and it is polite to be late! ‘Le quart d’heure de politesse’.

One distinct advantage of arriving on time is that there is no one there to kiss. Later arrivals are the ones who have to tour the room and greet everyone. It always seems very impolite to us Brits to have to break into people’s conversations, in order to ‘faire la bise’, then to have to leave that group in order to search out others that you have not yet greeted.

When was the last time your local council painted the lamp-post outside your house? Approximately 5 years ago, we were very surprised to see a cherry picker in the street and men painting our metal lamp-holder from top to bottom in a shade of green. Just recently we returned to the house and I asked my husband to remember what colour the street-lamps had been? He replied, ‘Green’. I told him to look out of the window. The lamp-posts had had another new coat of paint. This time it was grey. Two coats of paint in 10 years, is that good value for money from the 350€ we pay in Taxe d’Habitation each year?

 Obviously, the French speak French and the English speak English. However, it is very interesting to see from Shakespeare’s plays, how little French has changed in 400 years in comparison with the English language. In Acts 3 and 4 of Henry V there are two scenes written in French (Scenes IV in both). Pistol, the English soldier says to a captured Frenchman, “Yield, cur”. We no longer use ‘yield’ but ‘surrender’. Nor do we use ‘cur’ for ‘dog’. The captured French soldier appeals to Pistol’s better qualities with, “Je pense que vous êtes gentilhomme de bonne qualité”. = ‘I think you are a gentleman of good quality.’ There is nothing in that sentence that cannot be understood by a modern French person. Pistol replies with, “Qualtitie calmie custure me. Art thou a gentleman? What is thy name? Discuss.” Language that is incomprehensible today. I will quote another exchange because ‘calmie custure me’ is debated as inaccurate by scholars.“Ô Seigneur Dieu!” says the Frenchman, to which Pistol retorts, “O Seigneur Dew should be a gentleman. Perpend my words, O Seigneur Dew, and mark: O Seigneur Dew, thou diest on point of fox, except, O Seigneur, thou do give to me egregious ransom.” In twenty-first century English we no longer use ‘thee’ and ‘thou’ nor the ending ‘-est’ on verbs, and few would know that ‘a fox’ was a term for a sword! “Ô, prenez miséricorde! Ayez pitié de moi!” = ‘Have mercy! Have pity on me.’ “Est-il impossible d’échapper la force de ton bras?” = ‘Is it impossible to escape from the strength of your arms?’ The Frenchman continues in language perfectly understandable 400 years later. We have to thank the members of the Académie Française, which was founded in 1635 for their work of codifying the rules of grammar and the spelling of the French language, for sticking to the task so tenaciously.

Surprisingly there is a lot of New Zealand lamb on sale in France. Here is a fascinating little story for you which explains why.  In 1985, the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior was in a New Zealand Harbour waiting to go and protest in the Pacific against French nuclear tests. French special agents were sent to sabotage the boat. Two bombs were placed aboard, one small one designed to not do a lot of damage but only to make people get off. Another more powerful bomb would explode a few minutes later that would sink the boat. Unfortunately, a Portuguese photographer returned to his cabin to fetch his expensive camera and was trapped and drowned in the second explosion. The French agents were soon caught. France had to pay compensation to New Zealand and Greenpeace. As part of the deal a certain quantity of New Zealand lamb is allowed into France each year without having to pay import duties or taxes. French lamb is mostly indoor raised. It never sees daylight nor runs on grass. Indoor rearing means antibiotics are regularly used. So, if you want free range lamb look for a NZ label. Lamb is traditionally eaten with pale green flageolet beans that have been dried and soaked. Mint sauce and roast potatoes would raise eyebrows.

‘Le Fête du Travail’. Contrary to its name this is the day when no one works! On 1^st May everyone gets a holiday. There is a quaint custom of giving lily-of-the-valley flowers to family and friends. Charles IX started the tradition and to give a bunch is a ‘porte-bonheur’ – a good luck symbol. Sellers set up stalls at every intersection and roundabout with bowls of water containing their freshly picked sprigs. Apparently, it is the only day when Joe Bloggs can try to make a bit of money for himself AND, strangely for France, there is no law that prevents him. But beware, for should you dare to add a little rose bud to the freshly picked woodland flowers you could be in trouble. ‘Art floral’ can only be practiced by trained professional florists. Your efforts at adornment could be seen as competition and lead to job losses amongst that profession! Go to jail!

There are labels on many French products to give them an air of authenticity. Would you really know the difference between an IGP (Indication Géographique Protégée) and an AOP (Appelation d’origine Protégée) and a Label Rouge? Apparently, there are nine varieties of dried peas and lentils that each bears one of these labels. But what do these labels mean in practice? They mean that the product comes from a region where they were historically grown and must be grown to certain standards. However, they are not organic. Be careful with the label that says, ‘Voted the best product of 2019’. Manufacturers send their sample to a private marketing business who compares it with a few other similar products and gives a certificate to their customer for a fee.

English people use a small spoon to stir their tea, therefore the spoon is called a ‘teaspoon’. French people use the same sized spoon to stir their coffee so it’s called a ‘une cuillère à café’ = coffee spoon. In France, soup is traditionally eaten for the evening meal. The ‘cuillère à soupe’ is a very big spoon that we would call a tablespoon. Forks are often put on the table with the tines pointing down, as it is considered safer and more gentile. Many Frenchmen carry a pocket knife ‘un canif de poche’. The origin of the word possibly comes from Old English when the ‘kn’ of ‘knife’ was pronounced. Desserts are eaten with a spoon, even if it’s a cake or a tart. Cutlery used for an ‘entrée’ is kept to be used for the main course, even in restaurants. Amongst friends you are often expected to use the same plate and utensils for both courses. If you want a clean plate, there is always bread available with which the sauces  can be mopped up .